What Are You Tolerating in Your Life?
Maybe it’s time to ditch these irritations and reclaim some peace
When the coaching industry was just starting in the early 1990's, I had the great good fortune to take a class with Thomas Leonard, the founder of Coach U, the first school for professional coaches.
One of the most unique approaches he took with his clients was to help them identify and eliminate what he called tolerations.
Basically these are stressful situations and irritations small and large that sap your energy and keep you from achieving your goals and living your best life.
These tolerations can build up over time unless you decide to take action and eliminate them from your life.
So how do you identify your tolerations?
Basically you just write down all the things in your life that make you feel tired or annoyed or cause you mental stress. Don’t worry too much about it, just get your list down on paper. You can review it later.
Here’s some examples of tolerations:
Work
You hate your job, but you keep telling yourself there’s nothing better out there for you.
Your boss is a micro manager who doesn’t trust you to do your job.
You want to work less hours or get a raise, but are afraid to ask for what you want.
Home
You’re doing everything by yourself at home (cooking dinner, cleaning up, doing laundry) and resent that your family is not pitching in to help.
You don’t take care of small repairs around the house (dripping faucets, sticky doors, replacing light bulbs, etc).
You want a more calming environment at home, but never get around to making any changes.
Personal
You procrastinate going to the doctor or taking care of your mental health because you “don’t have the time.”
You have a friend who only calls you to complain about all the stuff going on in her life, but she never offers you support in return.
You want to do something creative like writing, painting or crafting, but you get stuck and never act on it.
You get the picture.
Once you’ve written down your tolerations, look over your list and select one that is the most annoying and can be fixed quickly and get to it.
Doing this will give you energy and a dopamine hit to kick you into gear.
Then, select another and another.
Notice how you feel as you eliminate these frustrations. I bet you’ll experience more freedom and peace without all those pesky tolerations bringing you down.
Key Message: Think of tolerations as weeds that can be pulled out to give you room to grow and live your best life. You deserve it.
Linda Locke is a writer and coach. She is the Publisher/Lead Editor for the Midform Publication and the author of Medium Momentum, Launch Your Blogging Journey in Just 7 Days.